Retro-ish Comic Book Review Haikus

Posted: June 20, 2012 by Jon Erik Christianson in Art, Comicology - Comic Books
Tags: ,

Like poetry? Like comic book reviews? Like brevity? Then this post is for you.

Top 5 from Earlier this Year


Batman #5

Spinning round and round,

A labyrinth, crypt, and tomb,

Help! Batman is gone.

“The Court of Owls

has sentenced you to die!” What

art, what wit, what doom.

Saga #1

The pregnant woman

screams, “Am I shitting?!”

A baby is born.

Shakespeare and Star Wars,

Montagues and Capulets,

Raunchy robot sex.

Animal Man #4

My dearest daughter,

Please stop talking to dead things.

It is scaring me.

Look! Savage flesh-beast!

No! Run mother! Run brother!

Whoa. Talking cat.

Penguin: Pain and Prejudice #2

Oswald Cobblepot.

The Penguin, runs the Iceberg.

A tortured childhood.

A “beautiful boy,”

Says mother. “Killer,”

groan brothers, father.

Birds of Prey #7

Cubicle jobs stink.

One day, paper cuts, next day,

murderous ladies.

The first date: mind games.

Second date: mind control. Next?



Bottom 5 from Earlier this Year



Batman: The Dark Knight #1

Like Michael Bay films?

Hate characterization?

Cliched dialogue?

Batman: The Dork Knight

Steroid art arriving at

A trashcan near you.

The Incredible Hulk #1

Who is Bruce Banner

without his alter ego

Incredible Hulk?

Boring. And the Hulk?

An angry philosopher.

Who thinks, and smashes.

Catwoman #5

“I just kick their ass,”

Cat said. “I’m funny like that.”

Kitty roid rages.

“I’ve learned my lesson,”

she thinks. “Won’t get caught again.”

Nevermind. Whoopsies.

Snarked! #5

The dictionary

is easier for children

than this comic is.



docious. In a book.

Suicide Squad #3

Once upon a time,

There was Princess Harley Quinn.

Only love? Joker.

HQ fans, beware.

Loaning her “clown car.” Her words.

To all! Not Joker.

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